Saturday was a bit of an exciting day.  I was really looking forward to my first opportunity to go surfing.  The night before, Bro Clancy had gone onto one of his most favouritest websites where he checks the forecast for the waves.  It looked like tomorrow would be a reasonably good day for the swells, so he decided that tomorrow morning was a go for surfing.  We got up and loaded the van and headed out to survey the surf.  The first beach we checked wasn’t what he would have hoped, so we headed over to the next beach up, but the waves were even smaller and were breaking pretty far out (which is bad, apparently).  Resigned, Bro Clancy went back to the first beach and we started to get things ready.  All along the drive, Bro Clancy was giving me a crash course in waves, tides, and surfing which, combined with the explanations we got the previous week at the Uni about rips and currents, gave a reasonable idea of what I should be doing.

    We put on our wetsuits, lubed up with sunscreen, and were about ready to go when I was told to take off my CTR ring ‘cause it would most likely come off.  Bro Clancy said he lost his wedding ring one time.  Not wanting to lose my 6^th CTR ring, I took it off and placed it safely in my bag.  Bro Clancy asked me if I was wearing my swimsuit under my wetsuit (which I was) ‘cause he thought it was too bulky underneath.  Raph, who had joined us with Yurgen (another member), said that he found them warmer, not bulky.  Bro Clancy suggested I get a pair of Speedos, but I didn’t bother mentioning that there was no chance on this planet I would ever wear them, even under a wetsuit.  Maybe the Speedo briefs, but even then . . .  I was, however, wearing a rashie, or rash-vest.  They’re skin-tight shirts that are designed to minimize the rash that can develop from paddling out to the waves in a wetsuit, as well as be UV proof.  Surfers call them rashies, but they’re also known as UV shirts or swimshirts.  I got a couple recently because it means that I won’t have to put on as much sunscreen; as most of you know, there exists a peculiar enmity between myself and sunscreen.

    All prepared for my first time surfing, we walked down to the beach, into the water, and started paddling out to just past where the waves were breaking.  It was at this juncture in time that I began to realize how useful the ability to swim can be.  As some may know, I made it to Maroon (back when they had colours) in swimming lessons, and just recently (only by comparison, it was two years ago) I went to the MRC and took some more swimming lessons.  Despite this, I still have little stamina when it comes to swimming.  I get tired very quickly, and exhausted shortly thereafter.  Part of my problem with swimming is my debilitating lack of breathing skills in the water.  I don’t know why, but I just don’t seem to be able to breathe quite as well when I’m in the water.  I end up swallowing water and air, instead of breathing air.  To me, the waves were huge; much larger than I’ve been accustomed to.  Getting to the other side of the breaking waves seemed to be an impossible task.  We walked out as far as we could, then started paddling.  When a wave was about to break on us, I was told that jumping through it works best.  But jumping through it means going underwater.  Normally, when I can relax, I can hold my breath for quite a while, but with the wave breaking on top of me, spinning me around and over, and all of this underwater, it seemed as though the 5 or 6 seconds I was actually under the water were an eternity and that I would never make it back to the surface.

    I remember one time when I was on my 3 month exchange to Quebec, we went to the cosmodome in Montreal.  One of the things we did there was to try the spinny-roundy thing.  You know, the thing with a seat set inside three rings with three different axes.  I’m sure it’s called a gyro-something, but right now it escapes me.  I got to try it, and they had me try to use a calculator to make some simple calculations while I was spinning and changing directions quickly and sometimes violently.  It was really difficult, and the speed at which I was spinning made it seem as though all the blood in my body was about to burst out of my forehead, and my eyes were about to pop out.  As interesting as that feeling may be in hindsight, it wasn’t pleasant.  The feeling of being tossed around by a wave was humbling and no less undesirable.  I’ve never thought about how big a wave is, and how much momentum it has, but a quick estimation of its mass and velocity will give you a number that should scare you even theoretically.  In practicality, it was so much so that I gained a newfound respect for the ocean and its power, and for the awesomeness of the gravitational pull of the moon.

    That part of your body (I’m not sure where it is) that tells your brain your lungs and blood no longer have enough oxygen to be able to function properly has the power to make itself know with the most forceful urgency.  Its programmed function to acquire more oxygen is strong to the point that anything else seems so insignificant, unimportant and pointless.  Not knowing which direction I was facing, and which direction was up was one of the scariest experiences I’ve had in a long while.  Perhaps the only events that come close are when we were rappelling as scouts, though the significantly more controlled nature of it makes it pale in comparison to this; and when I went bungee jumping in Korea, though the comparatively brief duration of the freefall was more exhilarating than terrifying.  As the wave flung me around and over, I could think of little else than ascertaining which direction was up, and then getting there with all possible haste.

    Just when I thought I was making progress in getting out beyond where the waves were breaking, the fourth or fifth wave seemed to be much larger than the others and would push me up, down, under, and sideways (yes, in that order), ultimately reverting my position in 3-dimensional space to one which seemed to have necessitated a short journey through four dimensions, not just three.  I just couldn’t seem to make it out past the breaking waves.  After what felt like nearly drowning (I’ll emphasize in this parenthetical remark that it only felt like I was drowning; I was perfectly safe and well-supervised by experienced swimmers and surfers the entire time and was at no point in any real danger.) twice, I resigned myself to the fact that my limbs were so exhausted that any further attempts seemed futile.  I signalled that I was going to head back to shore and play in the kiddie pool (metaphorically speaking, of course).

    As I was waiting for the others to finish off their early-morning surf I began watching all of the people walking up and down the beach, many of whom were walking with their dogs, and most of those with a tennis ball.  I was quite surprised at how many people were out walking that early in the morning, but I guess not everyone is as . . . inertial as I am.  In addition to watching people, I was also watching some little insects.  I’m not sure what kind they were, but they looked like really small and long beetles.  They were walking all over around my feet, which were slowly sinking down into the sand with each large wave that came occasionally.  That kept my attention for quite some time and, thinking about it now, it’s just another experience that makes me wonder who could possibly doubt the existence of a Perfect Supreme Being who created this planet and organized us upon it.

    Yurgen, an older brother from the ward came out slightly after I did, and we had a good chat as we waited for the others.  He had a stroke about 6 months ago that affected his speech and right arm for about 3 months.  Consequently, he’s chosen surfing as part of his resolution to be more healthy.  He also has one of the coolest jobs out of anyone I’ve encountered so far.  He works with a company that designs and manufactures electronics for the military (the military is their major customer, but they cater to anyone who wants an indestructible piece of hardware).  He was telling me about the laptops he designs to withstand the weight of a jeep, be waterproof, and still operate after being covered in sand.  He said the year-old models go for auction, so I might see if I can get one for cheap (though I doubt it strongly), as it would be sooo cool.  When we were all out, we walked back up to the one shower and rinsed off the boards and ourselves, dried off and packed up the boards and ourselves, and then headed home.

    That day I asked Bro Clancy about the bike he had said he had lying around when I mentioned that I was going to buy a bike, so he took me out to the garage and grabbed one the many he had around.  We got it cleaned up and I took it out for a test ride, however it didn’t fare well.  The gears were on the centre frame and were consequently hard to reach while pedalling.  Due the many (about 6 (six)) hills between home and the Uni necessitating the frequent shifting of gears to avoid the chain slipping teeth, I decided that this wasn’t the best arrangement for my needs.  Upon returning, I informed Bro Clancy of the problem and, after some thought, we went back into the garage and he picked out the frame of another bike and switched wheels with the first.  The shifters were much better on this one, with the rear being a click-shift and the front being normal (though it doesn’t shift to the easiest gear quickly, or well).  After just a couple minutes this one seemed quite a bit better, so I set off to discover how long it would take to get to the Uni.  When I got to the first hill I tried to shift down, but in so doing, I pushed it a bit too hard and instead of dropping it into first gear, I dropped the chain right off.  Putting the chain back on, I thought to myself that “there must be an easier way to do this”, wondering whether buying a bike would be worth the money.  Any who know me will not be surprised that I quickly dismissed the notion of buying a bike, because why would I buy one when here’s a bike right in front of me, that will easily accomplish the task.  The chain securely back in place I got back on my metaphorical horse and kept going.  A sad fact that became all-too-readily apparent was that I was not in the best of shape and that my stamina was sorely lacking.  There’s no Auction House where I can go buyout a pair of Hyperion Greaves of the Bear either, so I’m just going to have to live with the embarrassment of making it about two-thirds of the way up the hill and then having to walk up the rest of the way because my legs are screaming out in pain begging me to make it stop.  That’s about what happened on each hill on the way there.  I would pedal madly down the hill to gain enough momentum to make it as far up the next as possible before torturous screams became too much to bear.  Even with the chain coming off once more, and having to walk up the hills, I still made it to the Uni in almost exactly 20 minutes, giving me hope that with a bit more stamina I can easily drop that down to a 15 ride (though I’ll probably try to balance the time it takes with the amount of sweat I produce).

    My next stop on my bike ride was downtown to find a wireless router.  My selection was small (3 models over 4 stores) but I got one at a decent price and proceeded home to set it up.  I realized shortly (very shortly) after getting off the bike seat, that it was much too small and . . . painful (I tried to think of a euphemism, but didn’t).  I’ll have to fix that.  I attempted to rest my hinderparts whilst sitting in the computer chair setting up the router, but after about 3 hours, I just could NOT figure out how to get it to work with the modem.  The router works fine, but can’t access the internet for I don’t know what reason.  I spent another bunch of hours and a few calls to tech support on Monday for both the router and the modem and STILL couldn’t get it to work.